Coach Pain's Regime

Now let's get to the nitty and gritty of it all. I fast forwarded through some initial practices since they consisted of nothing but the filling out of legalese such as USARS paperwork, league dues, consent forms, medical liability waivers, and any official league paperwork.   Blogging about those will bore you to tears so let's move on along, shall we?

Let's discuss one of my favorite practices which I dubbed as Coach Pain's Regime.  That was a hard work-out!   At the end of that practice, my legs were like jello and muscles in my quads/calves/gluteus screamed each time I took a step.

During the Coach Pain's regime, we started off with the dynamic stretches to warm up those muscles.   After the stretches, off to run we went.  Ran around the track twice.

Coach Pain divided us all into two groups.  Group 1 and Group 2 lined up along each other on the track, he would give us drills.  Keep in mind, the drills were performed OFF skates during this practice.

Anyway,  ladies first in the line for Group 1 and Group 2 would do the assigned drill halfway around the track to the ending point.  Once they arrived to the ending point, second in line then would do the drill.  It continued until the last in the lines.  It was similar to the relay race.

All drills involved legs.  All leg work, folks.  They were brutal, especially if you haven't exercised in a long time.  Lunge walks, leap frogs, cross hops (hopping while crossing your legs), more lunge walks, some sort of jumping leg drill, side skeddales (dunno the right term), and again, more lunge walks.  I am sure there were more leg drill terms but bloody hell...at that point, it became pain, pain, and more pain.

When the Coach Pain's regime of leg torture started, Group 1 and Group 2 would smack-talk and raced each other. However, as more drills continued, it turned into the encouraging words, high-fives, and motivating shouts among all ladies regardless of what group we were in.   We were into this together and we came together as a team during this practice.   It was REALLY awesome to see!

As the drills ended, most of our legs were hurting and shaking.  Cool-down/stretching period was a very much welcome reprieve!

The walk to my van after the work-out was ahem interesting....I came close to crawling but that would creep people out so I decided not to.

Arrived home and took a nice hot espsom salt bath.  It was quite a hard but excellent work-out!  Coach Pain had lived up to his name.....

Second Chance

As the days went by after that try-outs without a peep from the RRR vets,  I was beginning to think I definitely did not make it.   I sort of expected that because I knew I effed it up by falling and injuring myself at the tryouts.  I did not complete the stations.  I was an idiot for not practicing skating PRIOR to the try-outs.   Word of advice to the future fresh meats:  If you haven't skated in years, find the nearest skating rink pronto and PRACTICE skating before you participate in try-outs.  Trust me....practice! Get yourself acquainted with the quad wheels again.  It is not like riding a bicycle so if anyone ever told you that, they lie sorta! ;) It takes time....your body may have changed over the years so the coordination may not be there from the right get go.  It takes time and patience, believe me.  If I ever received a chance to do it all over again, I would work on skating BEFORE the try-outs.  

Imagine my surprise the day I received an email from Yvonna Rumble.  The email stated there will be another try-outs this coming Saturday for those of us who were not able to complete the try-outs.  OMG! Seriously?!  This was it!  Another chance!  My excitement has quickly turned into the oh shit panicky feeling.  It has only been four days since the try-outs and my wrist was still banged up badly.  How was I able to do this with the injured wrist?  I was NOT going to pass up on this opportunity over a stupid bruised sprained arm.   Hell, there were two large purplish-black bruises on my forearm that I am still trying to figure out how they got there since I do not remember hitting my arm in that area.  My wrist was still swollen and a very pretty shade of purple, blue, and green.  Lovely.   Okay, enough with me crying over my boo-boo that has now completely recovered.  Onward to the day of second chance try-outs. 

On the way to R-way Skate Center, I've decided to stop at Dick's Sporting Goods to grab some wrist protectors.  It was difficult finding these items...I've spent a good amount of time searching everywhere in the damn store for the wrist protectors.  What the hell...why was it so hard to find these things? Yes, I did ask the store clerks numerous times and they all have directed me to the "Gears" section which consisted of nothing but soccer, football, basketball, and baseball gears.  Nope, not what I was looking for.  I finally found the holy grail, wrist protectors, by the bicycling and roller blade section.  Well, I should have looked in that section first, right?   Oh well.   Got my puny but good enough wrist protectors. At  least it was something to protect my wrists in case I fell again. 

Upon the arrival of the skate center, I saw Senorita Scarita and MALtreatment skating around the rink.  They looked so damn  amazing skating on the rink, so effortlessly with full of grace.  I got nervous...what if I fall again?  What if I injure my wrist even further?  What if I made a fool out of myself?  What ifs, buts, and hows were running through my head.   I froze then the realization hit me right there at the moment.  It was all in my head.  The "defeatist" attitude.   I needed to snap out of that mode and just do it. 

I just grabbed my rental skates and put them on. Put on the wrist protectors and skated/walked over to Senorita Scarita and MALtreatment to just get on with it.   My confidence was very shaken from all the falls I had. The "defeatist" attitude was fighting to overcome me.  Hell to the NO, I was not going to let that happen.  I have to say this though, Senorita Scarita and MALtreatment were such amazing motivators.  They were very patient yet firm.  Senorita Scarita with her "Take your time, girl, take your time", "Slow it down, take your time", and "You can do this!"  MALtreatment with her (imagine her tapping her fingers on her forehead)  "its all in your head, girl! its all in your head! you can do this!"  

I am very proud to say.....I have NOT fallen once that day. :)  Yes, I was wobbly.  Yes, I was slow.  Yes, I was shaky.  But I did it!   I learned the Plow Stop and T-Stop.  I learned the crossovers but that was kind of scary to do.  I think the thought of picking up the foot to do the crossover terrified me when I was just getting re-acquainted with the quad wheels again.   That is a different story to come. ;)   Yvonna Rumble later came to the try-outs as it was ending....she informed us of the orientation the very next day.   You mean, I got in?   Why yes, I did!  I do not think I would not have done it without Senorita Scarita and MALtreatment...so thank you! 

*edits may to come since this was written while being sick :P*

Upcoming entries....practices, "That Freshmeat", RRR's first bout of season, etc.  Stay tuned! 

Delayed....

Heads up....this blog is not being neglected. There will be blog updates coming soon to get myself caught up to where I am now. It is just that I got sidetracked by that fugly blob of virus that put on a mean show of digestive pyrotechnics (love that term... give credit to one of my derby sisters who is a Pickle Goddess for coming up with it).  As if vomiting was not enough to take me out, it tag teamed with that green mucinex like blob.  Lovely. ;)    Now I am back to feeling somewhat human, in despite of insane coughing fits.  

Good news...I have lost few pounds from being sick.  Even better news, I've decided to give up smoking.  I have not smoked for three days now.  The smell of tobacco smoke makes me green.  YUCK!  

Jan 12 2013...Lesson Learned.

As I was driving towards R-way skate center, the site of tryouts, a flock of butterflies were fluttering like crazy in my stomach.  I was NERVOUS!  I was not nervous about the skating aspect because I really thought I had it nailed (we will get to that in a bit) but nervous about being able to understand and communicate with the RRR league.  I was nervous that I was not able to lip-read.  I was nervous that they would not be able to understand my nasal deaf speaking voice at all and looked at me like I am doing the alien-speak.   I was nervous that I would do the drills incorrectly and made an utter fool out of myself due to misunderstanding.  Believe me, I can butcher English language mercilessly at times when lip-reading.   An excellent example, that viral you-tube video titled NFL Lipreading or something like that.  Yep, I actually thought that was what they said when I first lip-read these players' and coaches' lips in the video.  Scarily accurate but hilarious! 

Anyway, I  am veering off..  Let's get back to the subject, tryouts.  Holy smokes, when I arrived at the R-way skate center, there was a line of ladies outside.  There were a lot of ladies trying out, damn! The more people there are, the more nervous I got.   It was alright, I thought to myself, I could do this!   Once I approached the sign-in table and signed myself in, this was it.  There was no turning back.  

It was time to skate and roll!  I put on the rental skates with the cocky arrogant thought that I would ROCK this since I was an awesome skater during my childhood.  I thought once I put on the skates, I would automatically skate gracefully and effortlessly without taking into consideration it has been years (many years kthx) since I last skated.   Fuck, was I wrong...dead wrong!  I got up immediately after putting on the skates, not even few steps forward, I flailed my arms everywhere falling and putting all the pressure on my right arm while trying to protect my bad knee with my left hand.  It was a VERY undignified awkward fall.  I was mortified, confused, and pissed.  I shook it off and got right back up,  It occurs to me now that I did not felt pain during that initial fall (yes, there were more, just whatever), just the injury of my pride and the bruising of my ego.

It was time to gather around for the inital " welcome speech" by the RRR league president, Lucifurious.  As I skated wobbly to the DJ booth to get a closer look at Lucifurious' face, I caught a familiar face among the sea of ladies.  Yes! It was a CODA, child of deaf adult.  What a lucky break for me (I do not know about her haha....I do sometimes feel bad that I had to rely on her for interpreting when she should have been skating or enjoying the moments just being herself ).  In excitement, I nearly fell as I approached her, thank God I did not grab her arm when I nearly fell or that would be SO humilating.  She looked surprised to see me and volunteered to interpret for me if needed. Awesome!

After the welcome speech, all the skaters had to head out to the rink to warm-up by skating laps around the rink then begin the tryouts process.    First, I want to say that RRR league conducted a very well-organized process and it went very smoothly.  They did a fantastic job with this tryouts!   They were the nicest bunch of ladies you could ever meet and they were awesome in putting a lot of us at ease.

Okay, here is a simple breakdown of the tryouts process (derby sistas, correct me if I'm wrong):

1. Future skaters were divided into groups (I believe four groups)
2. There were four stations with two RRR vets assigned to each station
1. Station 1: Derby Stance
2. Station 2: Toe walk, Duck walk, and something else I couldn't remember
3. Station 3: Crossovers
4. Station 4: T-stop and Plow Stop
3. Each group spent 10 minutes or so at each station.  At the sound of whistle blast, each group then would rotate to the next station.   
4. The process continued until the last group completed the last station.
5. One on one interview with the RRR vets

During the tryouts process, I have spent more time "kissing the floor" than I would've liked. I was very wobbly. WTF?  What the hell was going on here?  Why couldn't I skate?!  It was like my body was taken over by a very uncoordinated alien who had never skated.  After two stations and numerous falls (lost count after fourth fall but I kept getting right back up...the stubborn fool I was),  my right wrist was swelling up to the twice its size and throbbing in pain, my tailbone was hurting, and holy hell those shin splints! 

Halfway through the third station, I had to opt out.  Every time I bent my wrist, the sharp pain shot up throughout my arm.  As I glanced down at my right wrist, it looked like shit.  Swollen and could hardly move it without whimpering like a big baby.  Common sense took over right there....in order to prevent further trauma, I had no choice but to opt out.   As I skated towards the concession area to get ice for my wrist, I bit back my tears.  Disappointed in myself for not completing the stations.  Pissed at myself for not skating well.  I sat at the table and nursed my wounded wrist as well as ego.  A couple of RRR vets skated up to me and gave me the words of encouragement.  I was touched by their up-lifting words with a touch of geunine concern.  It was like they do care.  Such an amazing group of skaters and they momentarily lifted me from a funk I was in.  I want to be like them!

I stuck around until the last group completed their station.  I stuck around to do the interview.   I honestly thought I was done for since I did not complete the station 3 and 4.  It was over, as I thought. After the interview and it was very challenging since I could not sign due to wrist injury,  I just went on home feeling a bit defeated.

Once I arrived home,  I went straight for a hot bath. It was a bitch getting into the bathtub since my tailbone hurted as hell!  As the aches and pains melted away in the lavender scented espsom soaked water, my head full of doubts eventually cleared and my determination slowly returned stronger than before.  I will be back....

Next entry...Second Chance.   Stay tuned!

The lure of roller derby....

During the pre-teen and teen years, I have always went to Roller Dome for skating on the weekends. I fondly remember the inviting shiny rink in the middle of darkened room with a huge mirror ball hanging over it, multi-colored lights shootin' through the dark everywhere and the pulsatating vibrations of the music throughout my feet. Stolen kisses in the dark corners. Skaters kept in pace to the song and I remember every time the song changed, skaters either sped up or slowed down. I then adjusted my speed to match theirs and felt the booms booms of the bass under my wheels. It was awesome, enough said. Come on hokey pokey on skates, anyone? Chicago Bears Super Bowl Shuffle. Thriller by Michael Jackson. Good memories to be had. I was a very good skater in that I could jump, jam skate, lap others twice or thrice as well skate backwards. Again, keep this in mind, I was good......

Let's fast forward to now. Region Rat Rollers came up during the conversation I had with my step-mother over a year ago. Her employee, A, was a skater on the RRR team. Of course, it caught my interest because I have always loved to watch roller derby bouts on tv (I honestly thought they were scripted because the ladies were always beating the shit out of each other but the competitive side of it really fascinated me). I was tempted to go for it but I had to decline due to that promotion I've worked hard for. The timing was just not good, I needed to adjust to my new position while balancing my time as a mother and wife.

 Since that conversation, roller derby was tucked away in my subconsciousness. There, it remained dormant until that day. The day I opened the Sunday paper, right there at the top corner of front paper was a picture of derby lady, Yvonna Rumble, pointing. OMG, roller derby! The article spoke of the RRR skater tryouts coming up in six days! This was it, the opportunity presented itself again. This time, I was not going to let it go! After a family meeting with my hubby and our three daughters, I've decided to go for it! I received nothing but full support and encouragement from my husband. Naturally, I received iffy reactions from my daughters such as "But Mom what if you break your knee again?", "But Mom what if you get into fights?", "But Mom........". After few reassuring words and pinky promises made (don't ask :P), I was given "approval" by my girls. YAY, roller derby, here I come!

 Upcoming.....the day of try-outs.   Stay tuned! .